While waiting at the gate for my flight to Chicago, I happened to witness the most egregious display of hillbilly social ineptitude imaginable. The gate next to ours was outbound to Houston, and it showed. The usual throngs of neat and durable business people were mixed with toothless, mullet bedecked passengers doing what passengers do best: waiting. Most passed the time in ordinary ways: listening to music, reading, eating, sharing a spot of light conversation. As we surveyed the gate my wife and I were both transfixed by the same victorian sensibility shocking behavior: a man leafing through a copy of Playboy. I admit that I was impressed; it takes enormous brass balls to plop down at your gate, snap into a Slim Jim</a>, and unfurl the Playboy </a>centerfold. As we stared in disbelief, a pair of young women in close proximity to our antagonist expressed their displeasure in an audible and obvious way. In his defense, the man simply stated that the news stand had run out of Sports Illustrated</a>. What else was he to do?